An RTD Christmas Tradition: “Twas the Night for Lax Santa”
December 22, 2024
Merry Christmas, everyone!
This cute RTD take-off on a Christmas classic first appeared back in December of 2012. I think this could be the tenth time I’ve re-posted it since. Please forgive the lack of creativity this week, but after all, aren’t all Holidays built upon certain traditions?
According to the website Carols.org.uk, "Twas the night before Christmas” was written in 1822 by Clement Clarke Moore and is also known as “A Visit from St. Nicholas.” Moore didn’t take credit for the poem until 1844, some 22 years after writing it.
In a daring and risky move, I am taking credit for this spin on his classic, targeted for the lax parent – and the lax child in all of us. I hope you enjoy it.
“Twas the Night for Lax Santa”
Twas the night for Lax Santa, when all through my house
The laptop was shut off, even the mouse.
Junior’s equipment bag was hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that Lax Santa soon would be there.
He was nestled all snug in his bed,
While visions of neon lax swag danced in his head.
With ma in her jammies, and me in my sweats,
We’d just settled down for a warm winter’s rest.
When out in the street there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from our bed to see what was the matter.
Away to a window I stumbled over some clutter,
Tore open the curtain and opened the shutter.
The moon in the sky just lit up the snow,
And gave it some luster, making everything glow
When, what made my wondering eyes suddenly stop,
But a gigantic delivery truck, with a stick rack on top!
There was a little old driver, with a distinct little canter,
I knew in a moment - it must be Lax Santa!
More rapid than eagles his toadies all came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:
"Now Tillman! Now, Berkman! Now, Gait, and Milliman!
On, Nadelen! On, Toomey! On, Sheehan, and Corrigan!
Put down those sticks! There’s no time for wall ball!
Now dash away! Dash away! 40-yard dash away all!"
As muddy fields brought us the new season each year,
Now we have Field-Turf, and fields that are clear.
Well, those lackeys to our doorstep they did stop,
With the truck full of lax gear, filled to the top.
And then, amid silence, I heard in the yard
The grunting and groaning; they were working so hard.
I drew in my head, and was turning around,
When there at the door, ‘twas Lax Santa I found!
He was dressed in red Gore-Tex, from his head to his toe,
“This stuff is awesome,” he said, “in the rain and the snow!”
A bag of equipment he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a vendor, just opening his pack.
His eyes, how they twinkled! His hair, it was graying.
His cheeks were like roses, like he had just finished playing.
A little out of breath, moving a little slow,
The fake beard on his chin was as white as the snow.
With his travel mug still steaming in his little red hand,
The smoke it encircled his head like a band.
He had a broad face, and a little round belly,
That shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly!
He was chubby and plump, a nice jolly old man,
I laughed when he faced me. Why – it was Richie Moran!
He gave me a wink and a wave of his glove,
So he was Lax Santa, the guy everyone loved!
He told jokes, asked about friends we both knew,
Filled Junior’s lax bag, and left me some stuff, too.
Then he gave me some Cold Gear, said, “This is for the missus.”
All in all, it made for a very nice Christmas!
He jogged out to his truck, gave his team a quick whistle,
and they scrambled aboard amid a cold, light drizzle.
Then I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
"Merry Christmas, RTD readers, and to all, a good night!"
2024 NOTE: This is the third Christmas without Richie Moran, but I’ll always keep his name in this piece, and forever make him the star of, this lame Christmas rip-off. I’ve never met anyone in the lacrosse world who was ever more like Santa Claus than Coach Moran, and I’ll be forever grateful for all the life lessons, friendships, and laughs I had working at his Cornell lacrosse camps.
Thanks for reading this week. Please consider subscribing at roadtripdad.com to receive weekly RTD pieces via email. It’s free – really! No fine print; no catches.
Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, and best wishes to Road Trip Dad readers everywhere! Please, drive carefully, and put down that cell phone! Donate blood. Get vaccinated, and then get your boosters. Volunteer. Put a dollar in the red kettle, and stay safe, stay smart, and stay kind. Help someone in need – and be sure to take care of your crew!
- Dan Witmer
Dan is the author of four books: The Best of Road Trip Dad – The Laker Lacrosse Collection is an accumulation of 45 articles written for www.JustLacrosseUpstate between the years 2012 and 2018, about the history and traditions, the people, and the stories of the Oswego State men’s lacrosse program. … and piles to go before I sleep – The Book of Wit is his memoir describing his 33-year career teaching HS English and coaching at Hannibal Central School. His third book, The Best of RTD – A Lacrosse Coach’s Handbook contains more than 55 weekly Road Trip Dad blogs spanning 2012-2020, featuring Xs and Os, highs and lows, and even some Dos and Don'ts, and plenty of advice for coaches of all levels. His latest book, The Best of Road Trip Dad – On the Shoulders of Giants: Upstate’s Lacrosse Founders and Legends, profiles more than 50 icons who helped grow the game in Upstate NY. All four books are available at www.amazon.com.
Dan grew up in Lynbrook, NY before coming to Oswego State to earn his teaching and coaching certifications. He then taught English at Hannibal High School for 33 years before retiring in 2015.
In addition to coaching the Oswego State Laker men’s lacrosse team part-time from 1982-2010, Dan also coached JV and varsity girls’ soccer at Hannibal for 16 years, girls’ ice hockey at Oswego HS for 8 years, and boys’ JV and varsity lacrosse at Oswego HS for 12 years.
Dan is now in his 18th year assisting Summit Lacrosse Ventures with their various tournaments, especially the annual Lake Placid Summit Classic, and he worked for 3d Lacrosse for three years as well. He has served on the staffs of the 2014 FIL World Games in Denver, the 2015 FIL Indoor Championships in Syracuse, the 2018 FIL World Games in Netanya, Israel, the 2022 U21 World Championship in Limerick, Ireland, and the World Lacrosse Championships in San Diego in 2023. He was the game ops staff director for the World Lacrosse Men’s and Women’s Box Championships in Utica in September of 2024. This year he created Witmer Solutions LLC, a lacrosse event staffing and internship offering service that he hopes will get his foot – and others’ – in the door at lacrosse events worldwide.
Dan served as the Community Service Coordinator for the Oswego State athletic department from 2010-2023 and has been a certified lacrosse referee for the past seven years. He has also been the Volunteer Event Organizer for the annual St. Baldrick’s fundraiser in Oswego for the past 18 years, raising more than one million dollars for childhood cancer research.
In 2023, he returned to the Oswego State coaching staff as an assistant coach, where he currently serves as defensive coordinator and alumni liaison.
Dan and Sue Witmer live in Oswego, while their older son Brian, his wife Jane, and son Benji live outside of Prague, Czech Republic, and younger son Eric lives in the suburbs of Denver, Colorado.
The hope is for many more road trips to come.