I started refereeing the same year I started coaching. In fact, back then, I probably earned more money calling penalties and crease violations than I did putting college players on the field 15 times each spring.
You see, I actually agreed to take on the head coaching position at Oswego State part-time, without a salary. I earned a couple hundred dollars collecting the money our players earned working at home hockey games. But during the summer, Terry MacNabb, Jeff Akin, Ken Peterson, and I got paid $10-$15 a game by Fulton head coach Jim Werbeck as we officiated “indoor” lacrosse games at the Fulton War Memorial rink (it wasn’t box lacrosse; it was field lacrosse played in a hockey rink with small goals and just five field players).
I’ve written about those experiences many times. It was the perfect summer job for me – go to grad classes at SUNY Oswego in the mornings, enjoy myself during the day, and then ref for three or four hours a couple evenings a week.
Not to dismiss Jeff or Coach Peterson, but I Iearned so much from Terry. He was also taking grad classes at Oswego at the time, so we had plenty of opportunities to talk about things besides the differences between technical and personal fouls. We spent time before and after our games – and then I’d get to see him do Syracuse games, Cornell games, and yup – there he was, down on the field seemingly every Final Four Weekend.
Unfortunately, after five summers or so I completed my masters work and started traveling around the state and country to work at lacrosse camps. The Fulton summer league started to dwindle in numbers, and those transformative years of summer box came to an end.
But, one could argue, the damage was already done.
Looking back on my years spent on the Oswego State sidelines, I was pretty harsh towards officials, and I’ll blame it on those years of summer lacrosse in the Fulton box. I thought I knew the rules, and I was quick to challenge anyone and everyone. I was “that guy” who helped the refs make each and every call.
I can proudly say I coached at Oswego for parts of three decades, but I cannot say that I was always proud of my behavior. Don’t get me wrong; I wasn’t out-of-control crazy, and I was quick to remind my players that I had only been assessed three or four unsportsmanlike penalties in all my years (and, let me tell you, a few of those were totally unjustified!).
Then, in 2011, I started coaching at the high school level.
For two years I was only a volunteer, so it was pretty easy to keep my mouth shut. Another good experience under my belt.
Then, in 2013, I spent the one and only spring in my adult life not coaching, watching high school games and writing recruiting profiles for 3d Lacrosse instead. With no dog in the fight, it was amazing and refreshing to watch a game and not care one bit about which team won. Again, a very positive and enlightening situation…
In 2014 and 2015 I accepted the position of head JV coach, and I experienced referees who were not necessarily the same ones who had done college and varsity games. Another eye-opener.
I was writing Road Trip Dad blogs at that time, of course, and I had written several pieces encouraging dads, fans, and former players to give officiating a try.
So it should come as no surprise that, in 2017, I took my own advice.
I signed up for officiating classes offered by the Central New York Lacrosse Officials Association (CNYLOA). Our class met at the Camillus Library once a week for four or five weeks in February and March, and before I knew it – just like that! – I was a certified lacrosse referee.
From the very start, I wasn’t looking to “work my way up.” I wasn’t aspiring for Sectionals or the college call-up; I wasn’t even looking to do varsity games. My very first game was a JV contest between Cazenovia and West Genesee, but I was still coaching, after all, and I was perfectly happy to do a handful of modified games after the varsity season ended.
More than anything else, I figured I was helping the game. Lacrosse needed more refs, and I was helping to fill the void.
In the years before and since the lost 2020 season, I reffed one varsity game, which just so happened to be when it looked like the future of CNY high school lacrosse was going to include three-man officiating crews. Luckily, two newbies had a veteran lead official to work with, and the experience went well.
Last year I only did a few modified and JV games, but I had the pleasure of working with my son Brian, who spent about four months in the USA and officiated games all spring and summer. The good times continued beyond the scholastic season, as the two of us worked together doing local ULA games and summer tournaments in Auburn and Lake Placid. Let me tell you, that had to be one of the coolest “proud papa moments” a referee can have.
Which brings us to this year.
With some morning practices and just two games scheduled over last week’s scholastic spring break, I left some windows of availability open on my Arbiter schedule and, sure enough, the assignor gave me three games last week – all varsity games!
Of course, this was the week after I had just written about some memorable and humorous exchanges between coaches and referees. Had I made a serious mistake? Was I setting myself up for embarrassment and/or ridicule?
The pressure was on. I had done the talking; now it was time to walk the walk.
I won’t name names, but I did my first-ever two-man varsity game on Tuesday. My partner was a familiar veteran official, coincidentally the same ref who walked me through the three-man game several years earlier. He was helpful and supportive, but I left the field feeling like he had carried me. I wondered if I’d be so lucky the next two games…
My next game, on Thursday, was with another seasoned official, but I think he was surprised to see me when we met in the parking lot before the game; turned out he was thinking he was working with my son! Hope I didn’t disappoint him too much! I think I did all right, but I’m not sure if I ever got a flag out of my pocket. There were fouls, but he beat me to every one of them; if I was a Western gunslinger, I’d have been a dead man. The game went to a running clock in the second half and, again, I left the field satisfied with my performance, but still feeling like my partner had done most of the work…
Which brings us to this past Saturday.
This time, I did not know my partner. When we met in the parking lot, I learned that this was just his second year of officiating. When I offered to let him be the lead official, he said he’d never done that before.
Uh-oh.
Not necessarily my worst nightmare, but it’s right up there. I agreed to take the lead, but my mind was racing. What do I say to the coaches? The captains? Which team calls the coin flip? What do I say to the face-off personnel? What do I say to the two teams when they come out for the pre-game line-up, and which team faces which direction?
It was 40 degrees out and I was sweating.
Looking back at it today, I think I did OK, except I got the coin-toss wrong. My fault. I let the home team call it. Rookie mistake by a five-year veteran. No excuses. The visiting coach even asked me about it, pretty sure that he was right. He was not only correct, but he was also patiently forgiving, saying simply, “Maybe we’ve been doing it all wrong where we come from” and letting it go at that (thanks, Coach!).
Things got significantly better once the game started. There was some noise from both benches, but nothing I hadn’t heard before, and nothing that came close to crossing any lines of impropriety. The final score ended up being pretty one-sided, and the sideline “assistance” decreased throughout the second half. Both teams were very disciplined and there weren’t a lot of penalties; in the words of one of my officiating partners from earlier in the week, I thought we did a good job of calling the “felonies” and letting the “misdemeanors” go.
If nothing else, reffing and coaching is an ever-humbling duality. Just when you think you know everything, you don’t. You (hopefully) catch your breath before yelling, “They’ve got too many men!” or “They’re offside!”
Recently I told members of our Oswego HS varsity team that I hope every one of them someday gets the opportunity to coach, ref, and be a lacrosse parent. The combined perspectives are life-altering.
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But most importantly, stay safe, stay smart, and stay kind.
- Dan Witmer
daniel.witmer@oswego.edu